For most of my life I’d been
slightly underweight. Being an ectomorph, my body naturally has little muscle
and fat, and it’s difficult for me to gain weight or build muscle mass. I’d
always been called weak and bony by everyone around me, and it bothered me
because I knew it was true. But I didn’t do anything about it until much later,
when I hit rock bottom. I was lazy, hated exercise, and didn’t believe it was
worth the effort.
When I moved to Egypt for
university, I lost my appetite and my food intake gradually decreased. With
time I ate less and less and lost more and more weight. Matters worsened when I
became depressed and suicidal, as I began deliberately starving myself. I
barely even drank water (the amount I drank per day couldn’t have filled half a
glass). I lost about 14 kg in total. I was constantly dehydrated, and I looked
thin, lethargic, and sick. When I reached the peak of my depression, I went
three days without food and water and ended up collapsing and experiencing a
hypocalcemia-induced seizure.
This incident was like a wake-up
call for me, for after that day I decided to take care of myself. I began
eating again. Because I had been starving myself for so long, my stomach wasn’t
accustomed to holding a lot of food, and it was a great challenge to eat large
portions without feeling nauseous. Yet I continued forcing myself to eat, even
when I had no appetite. I forced myself to drink a lot of water everyday (now I
keep a water bottle with me at all times and drink at least three liters per
day). I slowly nursed myself back to health.
Around a year ago I decided that I
wanted to change. I no longer wanted to be the fragile, scrawny me. I wanted to
be muscular and strong. I wanted to be physically active, fit, and healthy. And
so I hit the gym. Incorporating exercise in my life is the best decision I’ve
ever made. It helped me break out of the depression cycle and made me feel
fresh, reborn, and alive again. It made me feel productive, accomplished, and
confident. It brought meaning back into my life.
I began weight lifting in order to
gain muscle. Trust me when I say that gaining weight can be an even bigger
struggle than losing weight. It saddens me that I had to give up being a
vegetarian because it was almost impossible for me to eat large enough portions
of plant-based protein to build muscle. It breaks my heart that I had to quit
fasting extra Sunnah days (every Monday and Thursday) because it was making me
lose weight. I constantly worked out and stuffed myself with as much nutrition
as I could take in, and nothing made me happier than when my progress slowly
became evident. I gained around 10 kg since I first began weight training, and
I’m proud to say that I’m currently at a healthy weight of 60 kg, which was my
original goal. But my journey is far from being done, for this is only my first
step. I still aim to become stronger and much more muscular and fit.
I am now addicted to fitness, and
the gym has become my second home. I can’t possibly describe the immense
happiness a good workout gives me. There is no healthy mind without a healthy
body. If you want to be happy, you have to make your body happy first.
