What exactly is empathy? It is the
ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to be able to imagine what
they are going through, what they are feeling. It is the ability to feel other
people’s emotions, even when you are not experiencing what they are experiencing.
Is empathy considered a good thing? Well, without empathy, people would not
take others into consideration when making decisions. They would not give
thought to the effect of their actions or words on others. They would be
selfish, only ever thinking about their own selves. Therefore, empathy can be
said to be a positive thing, and even crucial in order for society to function
properly. People who show a lack of
empathy are often criminals and psychopaths.
But is it possible for someone to be
too empathetic? Absolutely. Just like not having enough empathy is a
concern, having an excessive amount of it becomes problematic. Having too much
empathy causes a person to love and care about others excessively, which leads
to pain, as this person expects to receive the same amount of affection and
care they give others but most likely does not receive it. It makes them
constantly put the needs of others before their own needs, hindering them from
giving their own selves enough attention. It renders them vulnerable and allows
others to easily take advantage of them. Essentially, too much empathy results
in suffering.
Being someone who holds high levels
of empathy in her heart, I know exactly how it feels like to be this way. Not
only am I highly empathetic towards people, animals, and insects, but I am also
empathetic towards fictional characters and inanimate objects (such as stuffed
animals). Being empathetic in this very extreme sense, I know of the pain that
comes with it. Many have advised me that it is not healthy to be like this, and
that I should take steps to change myself, as it will only continue to bring me
distress. I was told that caring about too many people, most of which are
people who do not even return my care, is wrong; that the only people I should
really show true affection for are my loved ones. When I told people that I am
empathetic to the point where I would gladly sacrifice my life for a stranger, they
told me that that is not right; that the only people I should love and care
about are myself, my family, and my loved ones.
I wholeheartedly agree that being
too empathetic is damaging and causes anguish. I do not deny that and am very
well aware of it. But here is where I have to disagree. Being this way is not
necessarily wrong. Yes, it leads to suffering. But as long as I am willing to
bear the pain, I believe it is completely fine to be of this empathetic nature.
I do not believe it is wrong to be selfless enough to care about strangers. I
do not believe that the only people you should be affectionate towards are your
loved ones. You see, in general (of course there are always many exceptions),
everyone loves themselves, their family, and their loved ones. It is human
nature. It is almost an instinct you are born with. It is what is normal. But
when you are one of the rare people who care about others regardless of whether
they know them or not, you become an individual who exhibits a quality seldom
found in our society nowadays. This quality is called kindness.
Showing concern for your family and
loved ones does not make you kind. Kindness is not just caring about those you
know and love. It requires much more. Kindness is the willingness to sacrifice
for a stranger whom you do not know and will not benefit from, simply because
you know it is the right thing to do. Kindness is giving and not taking. Kindness
is helping those who are in dire need of help, without gaining anything in
return. Kind people are like those who risked their lives to help the Jews in
Nazi Germany. Kind people are like those who came together to give assistance
to the victims of the Haiti earthquake. Kind people are like those who came to
the aid of Syrian refugees, and continue to do so. Kind people are like those
who provide food, clothes, and shelter for the poor, the homeless, and the less
fortunate. Kind people are like those who dedicate their lives to ensure the
safety and protection of endangered animals. That is true kindness.
And that is the path I wish to take
in life. I want to live a life of giving and kindness. It does not matter
whether it is a stranger, acquaintance, or loved one; just knowing that I was
able to make a difference in someone’s life is very rewarding to me. And I
believe that in order to truly dedicate my life to this noble cause, I need my
excessive empathy. I need to be able to value others above myself. I need to be able to give a great amount of
love and care to people I have only just met. I need to be able to feel
compassion for all living creatures. And for that reason I am not willing to
give up my empathy. I have decided that I do not mind being this way. I do not
want to change myself, because I have come to realize that being empathetic is
a huge part of who I am, and I have come to accept it. I know that I will
forever suffer because of it. But I would rather suffer than lose my empathy,
because being like this is what makes me a good person. It is what makes my
heart so pure. To me, losing my empathy means losing my ethics, morals, and
values. It means losing my goodness, sympathy, innocence, and pure intentions.
It means losing my identity, who I truly am as a person. It means losing myself.
