Friday, July 1, 2016

Too Much Empathy Can Be Damaging to an Individual, but Maybe It Is Exactly What the World Needs

What exactly is empathy? It is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to be able to imagine what they are going through, what they are feeling. It is the ability to feel other people’s emotions, even when you are not experiencing what they are experiencing. Is empathy considered a good thing? Well, without empathy, people would not take others into consideration when making decisions. They would not give thought to the effect of their actions or words on others. They would be selfish, only ever thinking about their own selves. Therefore, empathy can be said to be a positive thing, and even crucial in order for society to function properly. People who show a lack of empathy are often criminals and psychopaths.

But is it possible for someone to be too empathetic? Absolutely. Just like not having enough empathy is a concern, having an excessive amount of it becomes problematic. Having too much empathy causes a person to love and care about others excessively, which leads to pain, as this person expects to receive the same amount of affection and care they give others but most likely does not receive it. It makes them constantly put the needs of others before their own needs, hindering them from giving their own selves enough attention. It renders them vulnerable and allows others to easily take advantage of them. Essentially, too much empathy results in suffering.

Being someone who holds high levels of empathy in her heart, I know exactly how it feels like to be this way. Not only am I highly empathetic towards people, animals, and insects, but I am also empathetic towards fictional characters and inanimate objects (such as stuffed animals). Being empathetic in this very extreme sense, I know of the pain that comes with it. Many have advised me that it is not healthy to be like this, and that I should take steps to change myself, as it will only continue to bring me distress. I was told that caring about too many people, most of which are people who do not even return my care, is wrong; that the only people I should really show true affection for are my loved ones. When I told people that I am empathetic to the point where I would gladly sacrifice my life for a stranger, they told me that that is not right; that the only people I should love and care about are myself, my family, and my loved ones.

I wholeheartedly agree that being too empathetic is damaging and causes anguish. I do not deny that and am very well aware of it. But here is where I have to disagree. Being this way is not necessarily wrong. Yes, it leads to suffering. But as long as I am willing to bear the pain, I believe it is completely fine to be of this empathetic nature. I do not believe it is wrong to be selfless enough to care about strangers. I do not believe that the only people you should be affectionate towards are your loved ones. You see, in general (of course there are always many exceptions), everyone loves themselves, their family, and their loved ones. It is human nature. It is almost an instinct you are born with. It is what is normal. But when you are one of the rare people who care about others regardless of whether they know them or not, you become an individual who exhibits a quality seldom found in our society nowadays. This quality is called kindness.

Showing concern for your family and loved ones does not make you kind. Kindness is not just caring about those you know and love. It requires much more. Kindness is the willingness to sacrifice for a stranger whom you do not know and will not benefit from, simply because you know it is the right thing to do. Kindness is giving and not taking. Kindness is helping those who are in dire need of help, without gaining anything in return. Kind people are like those who risked their lives to help the Jews in Nazi Germany. Kind people are like those who came together to give assistance to the victims of the Haiti earthquake. Kind people are like those who came to the aid of Syrian refugees, and continue to do so. Kind people are like those who provide food, clothes, and shelter for the poor, the homeless, and the less fortunate. Kind people are like those who dedicate their lives to ensure the safety and protection of endangered animals. That is true kindness.

And that is the path I wish to take in life. I want to live a life of giving and kindness. It does not matter whether it is a stranger, acquaintance, or loved one; just knowing that I was able to make a difference in someone’s life is very rewarding to me. And I believe that in order to truly dedicate my life to this noble cause, I need my excessive empathy. I need to be able to value others above myself.  I need to be able to give a great amount of love and care to people I have only just met. I need to be able to feel compassion for all living creatures. And for that reason I am not willing to give up my empathy. I have decided that I do not mind being this way. I do not want to change myself, because I have come to realize that being empathetic is a huge part of who I am, and I have come to accept it. I know that I will forever suffer because of it. But I would rather suffer than lose my empathy, because being like this is what makes me a good person. It is what makes my heart so pure. To me, losing my empathy means losing my ethics, morals, and values. It means losing my goodness, sympathy, innocence, and pure intentions. It means losing my identity, who I truly am as a person. It means losing myself.
     
I was brought to this world for a reason. There is a reason why I am this way, and there is a mission I am meant to carry out on this planet. I am mindful of the pain involved in going down this road of sacrifice, service, and dedication to others, but I am willing to endure it. Because empathy and kindness are what this twisted, messed up world needs more of.