The Demon Inside You

It is deeply problematic, egotistical, and detrimental to call oneself “an angel.” When one does so, he/she completely loses her/his empathy. People who consider themselves angels develop a strong victim mentality that hampers their ability to exercise compassion and understanding. In every conflict, these individuals persistently see themselves as innocent sufferers and the other party as the guilty perpetrator. They are literally unable to perceive otherwise and are solely concerned with their personal distress. Incapable of and unwilling to put themselves in others’ shoes in an effort to grasp alternate points of view, they are blind to all perspectives but their own. In their eyes, they are constantly “good” and “right,” and everybody else is always “evil” and “wrong.” They cannot even fathom the possibility of being blameworthy. Contrary to what they believe, these people are not angels at all— they are self-pitying, arrogant, selfish, and self-righteous.  

None of us are angels. We are humans. Sometimes, we are kind, loyal, and generous. At other times, we are hostile, greedy, and treacherous. Hence, labels are dangerous and flawed. There are no “good” and “bad” people. That’s black-and-white thinking. There are only humans who act virtuously in certain situations and maliciously in others; there are simply people who make both deliberate and unintentional mistakes. There is a devil lurking inside every one of us, and being unaware of this demon is bound to torment those around us as well as our own selves.

Before we are quick to give ourselves the victim tag and judge others as malevolent, let’s stop for a moment and question our assumptions. Am I honestly the victim here? Am I the only one who’s been hurt? Is this person truly terrible? Is what they said or did genuinely cruel? Do they have different views, beliefs, values, and/or personality than mine that may justify their behavior? Might they be experiencing an adversity or dealing with circumstances that I’m unaware of? Is it simply natural for them to respond in this manner? What would I have done if I was in their position? Have I acted in an identical fashion when faced with a similar situation in the past? Am I being a hypocrite? Might this be a mere misunderstanding? Could this individual’s harm have been unintended? Is it really fair to hold them responsible? How might my words and actions have affected them? How would I feel if I was in their place and someone treated me the way I treated them? Could I be the one at fault? Can I forgive this fellow human being?

“Treat others the way you want to be treated.” It’s the Golden Rule we all learn and memorize by heart in elementary school, but how many of us actually abide by it as adults? Please; let’s stop with the self-pity and self-centeredness and begin to sympathize with others instead.